why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize