I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
