dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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