I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Me. At least after what I've been through.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
