but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
