I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize