thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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