and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
