I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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