his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
