I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
