history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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