This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
