Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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