when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
