That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
