I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
