where am i from again
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize