i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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