I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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