who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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