I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Send help, water and tortillas.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
