I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
