Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
