yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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