Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
