sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You can't motorboat a personality
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
God, I missed his penis.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
