Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
