my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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