We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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