Me. At least after what I've been through.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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