my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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