i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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