drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
