He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
