Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
