he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You ruined the universe
Randomize
