is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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