She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
