Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
