Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
