i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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