i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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