they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
