omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
