Non-Jews are for practice
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
