so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
