wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
