the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize