Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
