I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My penis needs a shock collar
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize