I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
