he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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