Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
