I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
