why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
