Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
