Umm I'm too high to move.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I forget how to act sober
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