why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
