She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
