Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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