he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
