i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
