is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
