Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize