just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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