ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
