Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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