Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
