you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
